“He/She is not my type.”
“He/She is too fat/Skinny.”
“He/She is too old for me.”
“I don’t date outside of my race.”
“He/She has kids.”
“He/She is too dark/too light skinned.”
“He/She is too tall/short.”
Almost everyone has had to deal with some form of the statements I mentioned above. Someone may have said one of these statements to you, or you may have said it to someone else. All of the above are far-too-familiar conceptions that prevent friendships and relationships from blossoming and flourishing.
This is just my opinion, but these are narrow minded and closed minded ways of thinking, and I feel like no one should form conceptions of a person based on what you see alone. There is so much more to a person besides what is on the outside. There is a whole universe of beauty and love that is often overlooked and never experienced because we love to “judge books by their covers” and not by their content. Lord knows that I have been guilty of this, but I give thanks to The Most High for growth and progress.
What I am trying to say is that maybe we need to have a more open mind when we are trying to form friendships and relationships. Get to know the person on a deeper level by talking to them and listening to their heart and spirit. Honey, I can tell you, with experience that you will find exactly what you need when you open your mind and stop thinking inside a confined box. You may have your ideal/perfect friendship or relationship in mind, and because you have excluded the possibility of any type of relationship with a person because of how they look or act, every relationship you have been in has failed. A lot of times, we are looking for our “wants” instead of our “needs”.
One day, I opened my mind and my heart to the most amazing, sincere, loving, wonderful human being, who just happens to be older than me, Caucasian, has kids, and not someone I would initially approach. When I got to truly know him and trust him after dating him for a few months, I realized that… I can’t be without him. He realized the same thing and… put a ring on it. We have been married since 2017 and every day gets sweeter and sweeter, better and better. He is my everything beneath The Most High. I can’t imagine life without him. If I had judged and dismissed him without getting to know him for who he really is, I would have missed out on the best thing in my life… my needs and my wants, because he is both now.
So just be mindful. There are some pretty great books out here and I just don’t want you to miss out on reading them because the cover is not appealing to you. I challenge you to look inside yourself and prioritize your needs before your wants. Look past the surface and into the spirit. Your best friend and soulmate may only be a smile away.